Sorry to hear about your struggle...I can identify with your frustration. I've been attending college off and on for over 14 years while dealing with a lifelong disability. I'm not finished yet, either, if I can help it. Paying for school has always been the hardest part of the ordeal for me.
If you remember, exactly what types of financial aid did you say you were interested in when you filled out your FAFSA application? If you wrote down OK to every type of assistance you qualified for: Federal grants, state grants, work/study, and student loans; your school's financial aid office should have asked you whether or not you wanted any loans for Fall semester. If you said no for Fall, then changed your mind, unfortunately there's not much the school can do about that now. And about any scholarships, that's totally the school's choice: if you miss the deadline they decide to set, you're out of luck.
Trust me, the Finanical Aid routine is one of the least enjoyed tasks for any student to deal with...and sometimes crabby or just plain miscommunicating staff people don't make it any easier.
Something doesn't sound right, though, about what you say you were told about the deadlines, and here's why: Your school doesn't ultimately give you Stafford Loans directly. The U.S. Department of Education gives the money to the school, who gives it to you. I'm assuming you filled out the FAFSA application at the beginning of calendar year 2008, or fairly soon after? If not, or if you selected no loans on the app itself, the government's own deadline for turning in all paperwork - including any requested adjustments to, say, add a student loan - for the '08-'09 school year will actually be sometime in June of 2009.
In other words, technically you could wait all the way until June of this new year to turn in your application for federal money, and according to the government's rules, you should then qualify to be paid back for whatever you paid on your own. Of course, this would REALLY be a worst-case scenario and that's probably why your school was so particular about when your paperwork got filed.
Check out this website: www.studentaid.ed.gov. This is the US Gov't-operated Internet space for all things related to students and money. You might be able to call someone, too, who could possibly give you better help. The phone number will be on the website. Sorry this reply got so long, but I hope it gives you something to work with.
Take care and I hope your New Year starts out better! =)
jr